Because from waking up, your heart opens up

Dear friends,

I am almost at the end of my stay in the French Pyrenees. It has been so much what I wanted it to be. I had a simple life in close connection with nature. I had a lot of time to focus on writing, and I sometimes had the company of my Belgian friend here, the bee woman. Each morning we had an hour of practice together, and sometimes we had dinner together. Last night we went to town (!) to do a free-dance circle.

Yesterday I wrote a paragraph for the book I am working on. I thought it was a nice piece of text to share with you.

I don’t avoid talking about my own story and what happened to me, what have been the causes of trauma in my own life. I for example also write about my father, about his and my traumas, and I noticed that the more I allowed myself to be honest, the more I felt my love for him growing. Here is the reflection I wrote about that.

I tell freely because I don't tell to judge. There is nothing that could have gone differently than it did. In my turn, I caused trauma to my children, if only because I was so often too tired to be sufficiently present for them. We are just all in this together and if we want to become free, it helps not to take it all so personally. We are just beings who are carriers of essence (divine light, if you will) and also carriers of karma (human pain, if you will). We are born with abilities and limitations and we make our way. Some feel more called than others to become 'free', but that too, of course, is not a merit. It is what apparently wants to happen through that being. Taking ‘the path’ can also be experienced as a damned task, but the option to renounce is simply not there. If you know you are watching a movie, you can no longer pretend you are watching reality. You can, however, marvel at the film. Perhaps it is exactly as you wanted it to be, because it is exactly what you need to become free and awake. The paradox is that the more you see that the film is not real, the more you come to love it. Simply. Because from waking up, your heart opens up.

Much love,
Zoë